You Suck: A Love Story Chapter 29~30

Chapter Twenty-nineDont You Hate Running into Your Ex?As soon as she unlocked the modern lofts security door from the thoroughfare, Jody smelled blood, burn level flesh, and shampoo. A case of the giveies that snarl standardized an electric serpent slithered up her spine. She went up the stairs, light on the b exclusivelys of her feet, ready. She h eard every tick in the a fiberment, the refrigerator motor, floorboards shifting, the huge cat Chet snoring in the bedroom, and, of course, some unmatchedness breathing.The lights were dark. He was sitting in a lotvas sling- hold chair, barefoot, in a bitstock of Tommys jeans and a T-shirt, drying his hair with a towel. Jody stopped by the kitchen.Fledgling, said the vampire. Im ever pleasantly surprised when I am reminded of how delight inly you are. Surprises are ancient at my age.Must need surprised the fuck forbidden of you to brace that Honda toast you, indeed(prenominal), huh? She felt herself tightening down, the electric jangle channeling itself into an awareness, an edge. It wasnt fear anymore, it was readiness.An repellent unmatched, yes. I assume your atomic servant is safe for now.Well, you know, she was winded for a few minutes from kicking your ass, simply she is further a little girl.The vampire laughed, and Jody couldnt help hardly smile. She went to the windows at the front of the loft and opened them. Smells like ruin meat in here.Shell digest to go, you know, said the vampire, salvage smiling.No, she wont, Jody turned on her heel. Faced him.Of course she will. All of them scarce you. Im variety show of tired of being alone, little one. You plenty come away with me, mediocre as we planned.Jody was stunned at his density. I was lying to you, Elijah. I neer int remnanted to go away with you. I was tho seduceing to ascend egress how to be a vampire.What were you deviation to do the next night, thence if your pet hadnt bronzed us, I consider?I thought Id broadc ast you away.No you didnt.I thought Id let the Animals kill you, like they were expiry to anyway.No you didnt.I dont know. The edge was slipping. I dont know. perchance she was going to go with him. She had felt so alone, so lost.Ah, so here we are again. Lets pretend like all this unpleasantness hasnt happened, and its the next night, and here we are, just the dickens of us. The provided ones of our large-hearted. What will you do, Jody? scarcely we arent the completely ones of our kind.We are the wholly ones you need solicitude ab discoer. You do know that you are the first new vampire in a 100 years?Jody act non to show her surprise. How happy for me, she said.Oh, youre not the only one Ive turned. Ive turned gentle existences gentle troopsy. Youre the only one who could hold up the change with her mind intact. The others had to be, well, decommissioned.You killed them?Yes. But not you. Help me clean up and then well pop off, to enamorher.Clean up?There are certain rules, love. Rules that I set down myself, and the first of them is make no more vampires. however youve let loose a storm of fledglings, and they all fuck off to be cleaned up, including your boy pet. apply no more? What ab start me? You make me.I didnt expect you to survive, love. I thought you would be an amusement, a break in monotony, an interlude, solely you distinguished yourself.And now you regard me to run off with you.Well brood like royalty. I throw resources you couldnt imagine.Youre wearing stolen jeans, sugar daddy.Well, yes, I will have to make my way to one of my caches.I have an idea, Jody said, and this was genuinely the reason she had come here, by herself, knowing that he would be here. Or at least hoping. How to the highest degree I give you enough bullion to disembowel you fall out of town and you do that, just like we promised Rivera and Cavuto? You leave me alone, you leave Tommy alone, you just leave.Elijah stood now, tossed the towel on the chai r, and passd to her so apace that she could barely even design him move. Art, music, literature, said Elijah. Desire, passion, power the best of man and the best of beast. Together. You would say no to that?He put his hand on her cheek and she let him.Love? Jody said, looking into his eyes they reflected like drops of hydrargyrum in her night vision.For fairy tales. We are the stuff from which nightmares are made. Make nightmares with me.Wow, nice offer. Cant imagine why you havent had any takers for a hundred years. Jody grabbed his wrist. If he wouldnt leave, she could take him. She was a vampire, too.The vampire had been smiling, just now his smile changed aspect, going from blissful to predatory. So be it, then.His hand was at her neck in an instant, she didnt see him move or have a chance to react. Suddenly she couldnt move her arms or legs, and there was an intense pain behind her ear and under her jaw. She screamed, releasing a sound she couldnt imagine advent out of a human, more like something youd try on from a tortured cat. He clamped his other hand everyplace her mouth.I didnt teach you everything in our one night together, love.She checked helplessly as he tossed his head back and his rootergs unsheathed. troy weight Lee firmd off against Drew at the end of the dog-food aisle, two short fighting swords in hand.Bring it, stoner, Troy Lee said. He spun the swords. Drew fell into a crouch by the dishwashing liquids.Im debased now, Drew said.Uh-huh, Troy said. He whipped the swords with the air in a deadly fanning motion. Hed been training since he was a child he wasnt afraid, especially of Drew.Hey, came a fair sexs voice from correctly beside him. Troy Lee looked oer, lightning quick, just in eon to register what looked like a full moon coming at his face.There was a loud clang and Troy was to the highest degree flipped everyplace backwards when the iron skillet hit him in the forehead. gloomful let it drop to her side and grinn ed at Drew. Ive eer wanted to do that.Housewares apply to be my aisle, Drew said.Take him, said Blue. Let him draw some of your blood beforehand he dies. She headed toward a commotion in the can aisle. Save some, boys. Mamas got a broken nose that needs to heal.Jody felt her own fangs extend and her kneecaps quiver as Elijah fed on her, plainly otherwise she couldnt move. How could she have been so stupid? He was eight hundred years old of course he hadnt taught her everything. Of course he was stronger than she was she was stronger than Tommy, and she had only been a vampire a couple of months longer than he had.If she could perplex conscious, maybe when he stopped feeding she could make her move. Could he reduce her to dust like a human, or would he have to do something else? Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Why didnt she know all of this? Why wasnt she acting on full? Where was the predator mind when you needed it?Her vision started to tunnel down she was losing consciousness. She could hear rapid footsteps outside, though. First below, then crosswise the street, then below again. Elijah perceive them, too, and he loosened his grip for an instant, nevertheless before she could twist away, his fingers dig into her neck and jaw again. Then a black blur flew through the window and she hear something thud on the floor all over by the kitchen. There was another loud thud and Elijah released her and she fell to the floor. She tried to uphold herself up, but something was thrown over her and she perceive a buzzing sound. She heard screaming and smelled burning flesh, glass breaking, then someone was lifting her, gondolarying her. She couldnt move or even fight anymore. She let go, let herself float away, but the finish thing she heard was a girls voice saying, Did you feed Chet?The Emperor sit down on the curtsy of the St. Francis Yacht Club, watching the blurriness wash over the breakwater. Hed gone against the advice of the homicide detectives and ha d go away the grocery origin. It was his city, and it was his place to take the battle to its attackers. He had cowered in fear long enough. His wickedly pointed sword lay on the dock at his side. The men, Bummer and Lazarus, were sleeping in a fuzzy locoweed at his back.Ah, gentle warriors, how do we engage in battle when our opposition moves with such elegant stealth? Perhaps we should return to the Safeway and help defend.Bummers left ear twitched, and he let out a muffled neck ruff in his sleep.A thick bank of fog was moving down from the opening in the breakwater and it caught the Emperors attention because it appeared to be moving crosswise the wind from the west. Yes, it was indeed the cold breeze was coming straight over the breakwater from the north. The fog bank bubbled thick as it moved, tendrils reached out and then were reabsorbed like the false feet of some crawling creature.The Emperor climbed to his feet and roused the men, snatched Bummer up before the sleepy t errier could get his bearings, and headed toward the clubhouse with Lazarus at his heels. He crouched in a shadow by the entrance to the restrooms, belongings the hounds as he watched.The fog bank enveloped the end of the dock, paused, then dissipated as if a fan had been turned on it, and three tall figures stood on the dock, a man and two women. They wore long coats, cashmere, the Emperor thought, but he couldnt for the life of him amaranthineize why he might know that. They moved down the dock toward him as if they were floating. The Emperor could see their outlines in the moonlight jawlines and cheekbones that looked as if theyd been chiseled, square shoulders, and narrow hips. They might have been brother and sisters, except one of the women was of African descent, the other looked like she might be Italian or Greek. The man was a head taller than the women and looked Nordic, perhaps German, with close-cropped white hair. All were as demented as bleached bone.As they passe d him the Emperor pulled the hounds closer and Bummer let out a threatening ruff.They stopped. The man turned. How long have you been here? he asked.Forever, I think, said the Emperor.The man smiled and nodded, then turned and was on his way. I know how you feel, he said without looking back.Gustavo and Jeff found Barry hiding in the shelves among the toilet-paper packages. When they got close, Barry burst out of the TP and made a run for the end of the aisle, wrench napkins, aluminum foil, garbage bags, and p determinationic silverware off the shelves as he went to lento his pursuers. Gustavo went down first, slipping on a package of plastic forks. Jeff high through the obstacles and was right on Barrys ass until he was almost to the end of the aisle and thresh stepped out holding one of Barrys digguns.Down pip barked, and Barry hit the tile on his chest and slid.There was a pneumatic hiss and the overburdened stainless spear thudded into Jeffs sternum and blew him back off his feet.Ow, goddammit, said the power forward, clutching at the spear and trying to pull it out of his chest.Gustavo climbed to his feet, ran to Jeff, and started yanking on the spear.Lash handed Barry a four-foot-long stick with a frank metal tip on it and fitted another spear into the gun.That the last one? Barry asked.Lash nodded. Wheres Clint?Just then the tall blond woman appeared at the far end of the aisle, dragging an unconscious Clint by his collar. A ample bloodstain ran from her chin to her crotch and they could see her fangs even from this distance. Bad boys. Leaving your reborn lying on the floor where passel can trip over him.She dropped Clint on his face, and headed up the aisle toward them, in long, slow strides.Lash bolted, Barry right behind them, through the canvas doors into the back room, and into the walk-in dairy cooler. It was like a long hallway with plastic milk boxes stacked on one side and the glass dairy cases on the other. They pushed stacks of hea vy one-gallon milk boxes in front of the door, then leaned with their backs against the back of the cooler, watching the store through the clear cooler doors in the dairy case, over the cartons of yoghurt and cottage cheese.Whats that shes carrying? Barry asked.A frying pan, Lash said.Oh, Barry said Sorry I let her in. She was almost naked.How could you have known?Well, when she claimed she had a nooky-gram for my birthday, I should have figured something was up.Your birthdays like in March, isnt it?Yeah.Lash slapped Barry hard once on his bare scalp, then re-aimed the speargun over the yogurts.I deserved that, Barry said.Think that spear hit Jeffs brass?Had to. Its a foot through his sternum.He doesnt wait dead.Guess that means head shot. Barry shook his head. You want me to try?Nah, if I miss, you have the bang stick. Lash nodded at the long stick Barry was holding at port arms. Es moveially it was a twelve-gauge shotgun shell on the end of a stick, used for killing sharks. Yo u poked them with it and the shotgun shell discharged into them at point-blank range.Ill bet she doesnt even know what it is.Get it right, Lash said. Blow her fucking brains out. They looked at each other as they heard the refrigeration compressors and fans wind down. Then the lights went out.Were fucked, Lash said.Yep, Barry agreed.Chapter ThirtyBeing the Chronicles of Abby practiceDark and Mysterious Goddess of Forbidden LoveDont judge me. I have looked death in the face and made him my bitch I did what I did out of love, and I dont want to sound conceited, but OMG, we are heroes And when I say we, I mean us.Had I told you before, you would have called me losah pronounced me cheerful and cute beyond redemption, but now that I am rock-steady in my own nefarious love lair and whatnot, I can at last confess, that in my naive youth, my favorite literary suit was not the tentacled horror Cthulu from Lovecraft as I previously declared in AP English 235, but, in fact, Pippi Longstoc king. Before you condemn me for my Pippism, check it outPippi drank a lot of coffee. (Because, like me, she was wise.)Pippi had unnaturally red hair (as I, myself have had, upon occasion).Pippi often wore long, stripy socks (as yours truly has been known to do).Pippi had superhuman strength. (It could happen.)Pippi kicked ass. (Not unlike your humbled narrator.)Pippi was a kid who lived without parents in her own house. (Go, girl)With a monkey. (Havent you always wanted a monkey?)What Longstockings did not have, was the coolest cyber-ninja-sex-magic boyfriend to ever allay the world and whatnot. (Props to Pip, but girlfriend needed some yang to rock her yin.)Steve. My darling, my love,My heart is aflameBut OMFG, Steve,I grieve,That youre nameIs so fucking lame.I call him Foo red hot, because he guards the gate of my temple, if you know what I mean. Im wearing the pileus he made me right now. I had it on when they came for me, but thats not the thing. The thing is, I didnt save m yself, I saved love.So, that night, after I told the Countess how my sweet Foo Dog saved me from the vampyre, the Countess said she was going to go back to the loft to get some money and feed Chet and get the last of Williams blood for Lord alluvium, for their love is truly eternal. And Jared and I were like, Well go, too, but the Countess sent us back to liberate the vampyre scarf out from Jareds basement and his hideous family. So we were all, Well, ok.But when we got to Jareds house, run was totally gone. And then Steve I mean Foo Dog called me and he was all, Im getting off work early, I dont want to leave you out there unprotected.So I told him where we were. Then Lord gourmandize comes walking out of the dark and hes all, What? What? What?And Im all, The Countess went back to the loft.And hes all, She is in danger. We must away.And I was like, Chill thee thus, for my sweet love-ninja is on the way in his fly ride.So Flood was like, Kay.I see now that my attraction to t he vampyre Flood was cryptograph more than childish infatuation, never to be requited, because he had eyes only for the Countess.So it was a little awkward when Steve showed up and I had to winding-clothes the Lord Flood and make him sit in the backseat to show that my legitimate affections were with Foo Dog, who was formerly known as Steve.And when we got to the loft, the windows were open, but there were no lights on. And Flood had us drive a block past, then we got out and he walked back. Then he runs up and hes like, Elijahs up there. Hes got her.And Im all, Then go get her.And Steve is like, No, Ill go get her. And he pulls this long coat out of the trunk.Its all covered with warts or something, and Im like, Nice coat, but you know, vampyreAnd Steve is like, Theyre UV LEDs. Like the lights we burned the vampires with before.And Im like, SweetSo Steve starts to put the coat on and Flood cabbage him and goes, Hell hear you coming up the stairs. Ill go.And Steve is all, You can t. It will burn you, too.And Flood is all, No it wont.So they are like five minutes behind the car putting together this ber-cool ensem of like an old gas mask, and a hoodie, and full-on gloves and everything, until Flood is totally covered, wearing the long coat with the glass warts all over it, looking like one of the cenobites from Hellraiser.And Steve is like, Dont hit the switch until you know shes covered. And he hands Flood like a black rubber tarp and a baseball bat, which totally sucked the cool right out of the ensem, but I guess was necessary.Then, just when Im somewhat to ask how hes going to get in without being heard, we hear the Countess scream, and Flood runs across the street and about halfway up the side of the building, then turns and runs down it, then across the street, up the side of his building, and goes through the window feet fucking first.And Im like, Whoa.And Steve and Jared are like, Whoa.And a second later we hear a thumping, and purple light comes on in the loft windows and the old vampyre comes crashing through the windows on fucking fire, locomote like a comet And he lands on his feet in the middle of the street, hisses once and looks at us, and thats when Steve holds up one of his UV floodlights, and the vampyre fucking scrams down the path across the street so fast that he was just a blur.Next thing, Flood is coming out of the building carrying the Countess, who is wrapped in the black rubber tarp and is totally roofied like a hitch rag. And Steves all, Get her in the car.And Im like, Did you feed Chet?And Jared is like, Hello, Abby, the other vampyres.So Im like, Shut up. I know. So we all piled into Steves car and we took Flood and the Countess to a hotel off up on Van Ness, which Steve paid for with his Visa, which was generous and mature of him.It was one of those motels where you have your own entrance to the parking lot so they dont see you in the hallway, so Flood carried the Countess up to the room, and we carried some stuff that Steve had packed up in the trunk of his car.It was so sad. Flood just stroked the Countesss cheek and tried to get her to wake up, but she wouldnt. And he was all, Abby, she needs to feed. I wouldnt ask, but hes done something to her, shes hurt.And I would have totally done it, but Steve pulled me back, and he picks up this playmate cooler that he had us bring up, and he pulls out these pouches of blood.And he hands them to Flood and says, I took them from the university hospital. They could kick me out of school for this.And Flood is all, Thanks. And he bites a hole in one of the pouches and squeezes it on the Countesss lips and thats when I started to cry.There were like four pouches, and when he was going for the last one, Steve was like, You need to drink that one.And Flood was like, No way, its for her.And Steve was like, You know you do.So Flood like nodded and drank the last one himself, and then he just sat there by her, stroking her hair.Then Steve was like , Tommy, you know I can reverse your vampirism. Im pretty sure the process works.And Flood just looked at him and nodded. It was so sad. And then the Countess started to moan, and she opened her eyes and she saw the vampyre Flood and she was all, Hey, baby. Just like that. And I started crying again like a big wuss and Steve took Jared and me out to the car to give them some space.And Steve was like, I made this for you from my jacket. And he put this leather motorcycle jacket on me that was covered with those glass LED thingies. It was kinda heavy, because there were batteries built into the padding, but cool. And he was all, This will keep you safe. The switch is in the snap on the left cuff. Just squeeze it and the lights will come on. They wont hurt you, but you should wear sunglasses to protect your retinas. Then he put a pair of totally cyber wraparound sunglasses on me and kissed me. And I kissed him back, hard, with major tongue, and lastly he pulled away, as gentle as a but terfly. So then I slapped him, so he wouldnt think I was a slut. But so he wouldnt think I was being frigid, I sort of jumped on him and wrapped my legs around him and sort of by the way rode him to the ground and was accidentally kind of dry-humping him on the pavement when the lights on my jacket came on and people looked out their hotel windows and whatnot, so Jared ended our special romantic moment by hitting my light switch and dragging me off.And I was all, You are THE MAN, FooAnd he was all, Huh? Because I hadnt told him yet that his new name was Foo Dog.But then he said he actually had to get home and check in or his parents would freak out. And said to watch the masters until I got back, if I got a chance try to talk them into being converted. So we made out on the hood of the Honda for a while and he brood off into nights cold loneliness like the superhero that he is. (The effect was ruined, kind of, in that Jared caught a ride with him.)So I went back on a higher floor and sat at the foot of the masters bed, keeping guard and listening to them.They were public lecture softly, but I could hear them.The vampyre Flood was all, Maybe we should give it a try.And the Countess was all, What, the cure? Tommy, it cant work. Youve seen what I can do, you know what you can do. This isnt biology, this is magic.Maybe its not. Maybe its science we dont know yet.It doesnt matter. We dont even know if it works.We should try.Why would we try, Tommy? Youve only been immortal for a couple of weeks. Do you want to give up the power, the I dont know the command over your world?Well yes.You do?Yeah. I dont like it, Jody. I dont like being afraid all the time. I dont like being alone. I dont like being a killer.That woman was torturing you, Tommy. Thats never going to happen again.Thats wasnt the enigma. Id get over her. The problem was that I liked it. I liked it.Then the Countess was quiet for a while, and I thought it might be dawn or something, but I peeked ov er the edge of the bed and she was just staring into his eyes. She looked over at me.Hey, girlie girl, the Countess said, and she smiled at me and it felt like a gift or something. It was like, real. Then she took her watch off and threw it to me at the end of the bed. That has an automatic almanac in it how about you set the alarm to go off about twenty minutes before sunset, so you dont get caught out again, okay? And I was going to tell her about the jacket that Foo made for me, but I kind of couldnt talk, so I just nodded and put the watch on and slid back down to the floor.Then I heard the Countess go, You arent alone. Im here. We can go where no one knows us, no one is chasing us, and Ill always be here for you.And he goes, I know. I mean alone from everyone else. Separate. I want to be human, not some foul dead thing.I thought you wanted to be special.I do, but I want to be human special because of something I did.Then it was quiet for a while, and finally the Countess goe s, I love it, Tommy. Im not afraid all the time like you just the opposite. I didnt realize how afraid I used to be until I became like this. I like walking the street knowing that Im the Alpha animal, hearing and seeing and smelling everything, being part of everything. I like it. I wanted to share that with you.Its okay. You couldnt have known.I dont want to be alone either. Thats why I turned you. I love you.Then the alarm went off on Lord Floods watch, and he shut it off.Then hes all, We cant go back to the way it was, before, I mean? Where I look after you?Its not the same world, Tommy. You know that now. We were in the same room in different worlds.Okay then. I love you, Jody.I love you, too, goes the Countess.Then they didnt say anything for a long time, and when my new watch showed that the sun was up, I looked, and they were lying there, holding each other, and I could see the red stains on the pillow from their tears.And I was like, Oh, hell no